It is about 45 minutes into the new year, and I sit here doing something that has become a bit of a tradition for me. Something that my Grandfather instilled in me when I was around 10 (??)...Can't really remember how old I was, but I was definitely in elementary school, and I know this because of the house we were living in at the time.
I am reflecting, contemplating, and sipping.
Reflecting on my past year.
Contemplating my future year.
And sipping some Whiskey.
My parents used to host a New Year's party when I was a kid. Shortly before Midnight, when the adults had enough booze in them that the either did not mind, or did not notice, I would come downstairs and "join" the party. I remember fantastic snacks and food at these parties. My mom would make a chili two days in advance and let it sit. All the guests would bring food, and the dining room table would be covered.
The morning after the parties, my parents would sleep late (hungover...) and my brothers and I would feast on the leftover food. We would also raise the furniture for loose change. You know, between seat cushions....
At one of these parties, my grandfather told me about the importance of New Years. A time to reflect on you past--what did you learn. A time to contemplate the future--what do you plan to do, hope to accomplish. A time to sit some whiskey as you ponder where you are in your life, and what kind of person are you. He encouraged me to do this, as he did it, and we sat in silence for a few minutes--the only sound was the sound of the ice cubes in his tumbler as he sipped his Scotch Whiskey. After a few minutes, he told me that it was important to make some resolutions based upon one's contemplation. He encouraged me to do the same. I though for a moment, then responded. Probably something about studying more in school, trying to get along better with my brothers, etc. Good goals, he said, but encouraged me to think bigger as well. To think about small things, and how those small things can influence big things. I thought some more..."Maybe challenge other kids when they make racist jokes, maybe volunteer with a community development group", I said. He smiled.
I then asked him about his goals and new years resolutions.
He responded with something about spending some more time at the seniors centre, spending time with those with no family, and something about keeping the fight against our conservative government.
He also said something that surprised me: to not drink any more. He then took another sip of his scotch.
"But Grandpa," I said, "it is after midnight and you are drinking?"
'That's right," he said, "and I'm not going to drink any less, either!"
That was my grandfather. Very serious at one moment, and a clown the next.
That being said, ever since then, I have reflected, contemplated, and sipped.
Now my drink has changed, I prefer the Irish Whiskey (Red Breast to be exact), to the Scotch. But that might not be the scotch so much as the flavour--he drank Glenfiddich.
But the rest I do, right down to the corny resolution joke.
So, what can I reflect on. I "official" time at work by 40 minutes to I could pick up my son from Kindergarten. Definite good choice. A lot less stress for both of us from last year with someone different always picking him up. I've tried to change my 'mindset' at work. I can't save them all, I can't really save any of them, but I can do the best with what I have.
Contemplate: Is it time for a job change? Or perhaps a shift. (I almost called it a "career" and not a job--but that is a discussion for another day.)
My job is burning me out. Not as bad this year, but still happening. Working within a messed up system is eating me up. Definitely need to take some steps to change this...
Resolutions:
- Exercise a lot more--helps with the stress, help with how I feel about myself, and also helps with the lovin'
- Spend better time with my kids. Out, active, thinking, talking, exploring, etc.
- Improve the work situation....get some more qualifications, and look for a transfer.
And last but not least, I am not going to drink any more.
(sip, swallow...)
But I am not going to drink any less, either!
